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Showing posts from May, 2013

The great psychometric test of Life

In my ongoing mission to find IT teen work before Summer, we were looking at yet another online application. In the olden days, if you wanted a job with a retailer, large or small, they tended to rely on the face-to-face approach, to check out if you were a people person. I mean, retail is all about the customer, so having staff who are good with customers should be top of the list.

These days, retail is all about following the online application process to a point where you forget which job it is you wanted to apply for. You also forget who and what you are by the time you finish most of them. It becomes a strange, other-worldly experience, where you pass through many portals, searching for the magic key to release you, either back into your own world or into the world of work.

As luck would have it, I am one of those aspies who loves all this portal business and is quite at home living in more than one world at a time. This is lucky for IT teen who, by the end of the application pr…

Efficiency in the face of Aspifacy

I'm my own worst enemy, I know it. However socially awkward I might be, however difficult other people are (yes, you are), the blame usually comes to rest at my feet.

It's so easy to excuse yourself by virtue of the Aspergers and I've done it many times myself. I can't do that because; I did that thanks to; I'm only an aspie, so I can't...so many reasons which sound like excuses, complicated by the fact that all excuses are potential reasons and vice versa.

How is one supposed to know the difference? How do you know when you really can't do something and when you're just feeling a bit higgledy-piggledy and don't want to do it? It's a fine line and one I'm always falling off, to one side or the other.

None of this is made any easier by my own hyper-critical approach. One moment I'm bemoaning the fact that I'll be at Tesco in dead of night again because I haven't been organised enough, the next I'll realise I could have been a…

Bluntness or Honesty?

IT teen had been told by a friend that he was as blunt as a butter knife, which made me laugh until IT revealed he had replied by saying, "If I'm as blunt as a butter knife then my mother is as blunt as its wooden handle."

"I'm not that bad!" I cried, picturing the offending knife with an unwieldy, rustic handle, not so much spreading the butter as flattening it into the table.

"Yes, you are," IT replied. "I didn't even think I was blunt before now, because I always compared myself to you!"

So, the acerbic, brutally honest, psychological enema that is IT teen thought he wasn't even blunt?? I thought of all the times his essential bluntness had risen to the surface like a basking shark, ready to make itself known in clear, undeniable terms. Then I thought about myself.

If IT teen, that bastion of bluntness, thinks I am the handle to his knife, what do I do to people? I know I can say the wrong thing and am overly honest, but if I…

Seeing the whole person

They say if you want to see a room as it really is, mess and all, you should take a picture and look at that. They say that it's too easy to miss the obvious when you see it all the time and you need to look at it a different way to see it clearly.

So, your okay living room, which you just cleaned today, is transformed in a photograph. You suddenly see the biscuit wrappers on the sofa, the bundle of dog hair on the corner of the rug, the peeling paint on the radiator and the place where the cat scratched at the door frame when he was little.

All these things are meant to be invisible to those of us who are permanently distracted. We see what we think there is to be seen and anything extra is left to be noticed by visitors.

I was thinking the same approach might be useful for Life. Imagine if you could hold a cosmic camera and take a picture of your life, as it really is? Putting aside the fact we humans are only meant to know so much and would probably be driven insane by the una…

Viewed through a different lens

I was struck last night with how differently we are perceived, from person to person. This is true of everyone we meet, of course. One person will always have a different view of you than another. In an aspie sense, though, the eccentric or out-of-place demeanor of your average aspie means different things to different people.

At lunch-time yesterday, I met my mother for coffee and had to run the gauntlet of the whole cafe. As usual, my outfit of choice seemed to attract the eye, though that wasn't my intention when I left the house. In honour of the sun coming out, I was dressed for Summer. This is the usual mistake I make in early Spring, but at that stage in the day, with sun pouring through the windows, my outfit still seemed like a good idea.

I wasn't operating on all cylinders at that stage, so I ignored the looks and drank my coffee. I did see my mother's eye travelling down to my shoes, but she's well-practiced enough to drag her eye back up again, quick-smart…

When planning doesn't work

Today is a difficult day and the rest of the week isn't looking much better. And not difficult in an aspie sense either, just plain old, anybody's-business difficult.

The problems this week revolve around Jeffrey, one of my cats. He's been ill on and off for weeks and we never seem to get very far. Yesterday it looked as if he might be on his way out, then he rallied again and now I'm waiting to see if I can save him or if I have to make the decision every pet owner dreads.

Considering how hard it can be to get through a normal day, the harder ones are a real kick in the teeth. I don't know if being aspie is sometimes a blessing on these occasions though.

I was thinking about this at 5am, having dragged myself out of bed again to check on Jeffrey. I found myself veering away from obsessing over Jeffrey and onto other things. It was like a force-field was bouncing me off the Jeffers problems and back out into the ether.

I'm sure it was a protective mechanism so…