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Showing posts from July, 2014

Walking in the dying sun

In a few moments, I have to go upstairs and find some way of disconnecting RT Teen from the computer. It's a tricky procedure involving distraction and bribery dressed as encouragement. Like a sad little flower at the back of the room, RT needs to feel the sun on his face and top up on his non-vampiric vitamins.

I know he's done some writing today and I also know he has made amazing progress with his spectacularly creatively mathematical mega-structure on Minecraft.  It's just that every time I walk in the room he's playing some strange cookie game. And I mean an actual cookie game, with a giant choc-chip cookie on the screen, not some weird hybrid of those internet sprites meant to make our lives easier.

If I was able to go in, unseen, he would be sitting there, his face alight in happiness and his body glowing gently in sympathy with the screen. And he would be socialising.

This is what happens whenever I try to get him off the computer. I know he's been working…

Manic Optimism

I never understood people who talked about doing something and then, well, talked about it some more. How long does the talking stage go on if someone really wants to act? How long is it before plans become events?

I know there are lots of people less hasty than me. They plan things out, think it all through, consult sensible others and make real strategies for success which have nothing to do with my manically scribbled notes in many notebooks. These are the ones who know before starting if their plan has a chance of success.

Then there are the ones who do all of this and make the right noises but never seem to get off the ground. They haven't discovered the plan is unworkable or even very risky, they just don't move. The next time you see them and bring up the grand scheme, they are pleased to talk about it but the conversation is either a re-hash of the last time you met or it's yet another nuance of the scheme they need to iron out.

They are the careful ones, the ones…

How to Talk to Your Aspie

I wish I could talk to people, you know? Talk to them in the same way as when I write my blog or my books. The written word comes so easily compared to the stilted, stuttering, compacted conversations I offer in the real world. How does this happen? Why can I write it and not say it? It is the same brain behind both things!
And this is how I came to the second book in my Crazy Girl in an Aspie World series. I realised that a disproportionate amount of my blog posts were spent analysing communication and explaining how hard it can be for aspies to talk to other people, let alone explain their feelings.
People who found my blog searched using phrases like, ‘talk to an aspie’, ‘why can’t aspies talk,’ ‘weird aspie talk’ and ‘strange things that aspies say’. Yes, we are weird and say strange things or we can’t talk or people try to talk to us and come away confused.
Faced with the real world, lots of aspies freeze and need to give themselves a push to carry on into the maelstrom. It is h…

Overwhelmed...

How do you cope when everything seems to happen at once and you feel overwhelmed? How do you keep yourself going when you face real and complex issues? If a 'normal' problem sends you catapulting from the path then being overwhelmed by problems, challenges, difficulties is not going to be a simple fix.

The Aspergers mould already leaves little space for extra problems - being aspie-shaped is usually enough to bring stresses where other people see none. So how is an aspie meant to cope when life head-butts you and leaves you reeling from events which the most placid person would find stressful?

I'm talking about the big events - not necessarily marriage, divorce, moving house, bereavement and so on, but the other big events where problems come to a head and angst-ridden times carry you on the crest of sharp, glittering waves towards an unknown shore. Those moments in life when you find yourself in the eye of the storm with nowhere to turn.

In other words, those times when …

Sensory Overload

Have you ever tried to explain sensory overload to your nearest and dearest? Yes, me too. And usually this conversation happens apart from the overload because, not surprisingly, when you are overwhelmed by sensory input and your body thinks it is being attacked by life itself, you aren't in a position to explain.

In fact, I would say that sensory overload is without words, a feeling, a condition, a point in time when you are purely a mind in flux, a body entrapped in experience, something which cannot be described at the time it is happening. Trying to describe sensory overload from inside the experience is like trying to explain logic to custard: the custard is susceptible to logic, like everything else in life, but it is unlikely to be listening.

So I want to let you into a secret room where you can see what sensory overload looks like, to me at least. We have to tread carefully here as it's all quiet at the moment and the last thing we want to do is set off any drama alar…