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Showing posts from January, 2015

Releasing a tame aspie into the wild

This information is designed to guide you but should not be taken as the only way to naturalise your tame aspie. Caution is advised in any situation where an aspie is released into the wild for the first time as their usual response to wide, open spaces full of nature is one of abject terror and incomprehension.

Your good intentions in rescuing your tame aspie have brought you to the goal you have planned for months: finally, it is time to release your aspie into the wild and hope they can fend for themselves.

To ensure this is a happy experience for you and as stress-free as possible for your aspie, please consider:

Training your aspie to feed itself This can be a long process but is ultimately rewarding. Start small and guide your aspie towards bread and butter, then work up to jam. Buy cheap jam as you will lose a lot in misguided attempts to use a knife as a spoon.

Work up to cooking hot meals. These will mainly only be warm or incinerated for a while as your aspie is either too i…

A sense of belonging.

All the times, all the myriad but matching, twin-like times when you feel as if you are the odd one out and no matter what company you seek, sooner or later you will be separate from them. Those times when you have that sensation of wrenching, as if you have pulled away too soon even though you stayed in the same place; then realise the pull came from them as they moved away.

These lonely times, when it crosses your mind it might just be worth pretending forever so you can fit in and not be wrenched back out of place, they push you along and leave you eddying about on the edges of the great pond, brushing up against the side, no handholds, only the sensation that if you could look properly, like other people look, you would see the way out and the way in and know how everyone makes their journeys.

And then, the relief, when you come to the point in life when this part, this outside feeling, this looking through the glass and being on the wrong side, it slides away and reveals the tru…

Don't talk about the new year, talk about your new beginnings!

It starts innocently enough with fireworks on TV and people being ecstatic because it's the New Year and people have to be ecstatic about it. You 're allowed to dislike Christmas, being Scrooge is acceptable, but there is no opt-out for New Year.

It's the start of new and better things and we are all going to be new and better people. Hurrah!

It is a time to be really, properly sociable and greet total strangers as if we all live in a tiny, microcosm world where we have to get along or die (this one is true but not in the way New Year revellers think it is).

We have to be happy about the New Year.

We have to appreciate it.

We have to be positive.

As a back-handed compliment to the New Year, we are allowed to say the last year was complete rubbish, so long as we go right into how the next year is Our Year (I want to slap every last person who says this).

We must be revived overnight and see ourselves and our lives as glowing treasures at the centre of the universe.

And we …